Self-Care Isn't Selfish: A Mom's Guide to Finding Time for Yourself in Maryville
Okay, let's be real for a minute.
You know how I talk about summer camps and playgrounds and the best pizza places for families? That's the MaryvilleKids side of me. The practical, helpful, "let me solve your problem" mom who shows up to school pickup in leggings that have seen better days.
But there's another side to me. The side that knows what it feels like to be a mom who's running on empty. The side that's learned that self-care isn't about bubble baths and face masks (though those are nice). It's about remembering that you're a whole person, not just a mom or a business owner or a wife.
The Mom Guilt Trap
Here's the thing nobody talks about: self-care feels selfish when you're a mom.
You know that feeling? When you're trying to plan something for yourself and you think "but what about the kids?" or "but I should be doing laundry instead?" or "but I'm being selfish?"
I've been there. I've sat on my couch after the kids are asleep, ready to read a book or just...be...and I feel guilty about it. Like I'm not being a good mom.
Here's what I've learned: Self-care isn't selfish. It's necessary.
When I take time for myself, I come back to my family more patient, more present, more me. I'm not running on fumes. I'm not snapping at my kids because I'm exhausted. I'm not resentful because I've given everything to everyone else.
What Self-Care Actually Looks Like
It's not always spa days. Sometimes it's: - Reading a book at 6am while everyone else is still asleep - Taking a walk around the neighborhood when you need to think - Calling a friend who gets it - Sitting in silence for five minutes - Buying yourself flowers because you deserve them - Saying "no" to something that drains you
It's not always expensive. Sometimes it's: - A 15-minute massage at home while the kids play - Reading a book in the bathroom after bedtime - A walk in the park when the weather is nice - Cooking a meal you actually want to eat - Watching a movie without interruptions
It's not always planned. Sometimes it's: - Letting someone else handle dinner for once - Ordering takeout because you're too tired to cook - Asking your husband to take the kids for an hour - Saying "I need a break" and actually taking it
Maryville Resources for When You Need a Break
Shear Faith Salon & Spa 🧖♀️
331 Whitecrest Dr, Maryville, TN 37801
This place has been a lifesaver for me. It's faith-centered but not preachy, warm and welcoming. I've gotten massages there when I've been running on empty, and it's exactly what I needed. The atmosphere is calming, the staff is professional, and they understand that sometimes you just need to sit in a warm room and breathe.
Pro tip: Book a massage when you're at your most exhausted. You'll be surprised how much better you feel afterward.
TruYou Aesthetics ✨
Maryville location
I've been here for facials, and it's been a game-changer. The staff is knowledgeable, the treatments are customized to your skin, and they take time to listen to what you're looking for. It's not just about looking good . it's about feeling good in your own skin.
What I love: They don't push expensive packages on you. They just ask what you want and help you get there.
Pure Massage 💆♀️
Maryville
I've been going here for years, and it's been amazing for my migraines and chronic tension. Jennifer really knows what she's doing, and she's gentle but thorough. If you're dealing with stress headaches or back pain from carrying kids around all day, this is the place.
Why I keep going: The relief is real. I leave feeling like I can actually function again.
Head to Toe Massage 🌿
Maryville
This place is all about creating a peaceful sanctuary. The atmosphere is calming, the music is soothing, and they really focus on making you feel relaxed. It's perfect for when you need to decompress after a stressful week.
What makes it special: They take time to understand what you need. Are you tense? Do you need deep tissue? Do you just need to relax? They adjust accordingly.
The Reality of Mom Self-Care
You won't find time. You have to make it.
I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. There's no magical hour where the kids are asleep and the house is quiet and you have three hours to yourself. You have to carve out time, even if it's just 15 minutes.
Some strategies that work for me: - Early mornings: I read and write before anyone else is awake. It's my time to be me. - Bedtime routines: After the kids are asleep, I have the house to myself. I use this time for reading, writing, or just...being. - Husband time: My husband and I have figured out how to give each other space. Sometimes he takes the kids for a few hours so I can have time to myself. - Saying no: I've learned to say no to things that drain me. I don't have to say yes to every invitation, every volunteer opportunity, every thing that feels like it "should" be done.
The Self-Care That Isn't Self-Care
Here's something I don't talk about much: I read erotic literature.
I know, that's not what you came here for. You came here for playground reviews and summer camp guides. But this is part of who I am, and I want to be honest about it.
I've been reading erotic literature seriously for nearly two decades. I find it fascinating as both story and exploration of human intimacy. I read to understand myself better, to find new language for feelings I already have, for that moment of private pleasure and emotional connection that has nothing to do with my family or my motherhood.
It's not about escaping. It's about understanding myself better. It's about finding language for feelings I already have. It's about remembering that I'm a whole person with desires and needs and a sexuality that's part of who I am.
How I do it: - The wee hours: Before anyone else is awake, when the house is quiet and it's just me and my thoughts - My reading nook: That comfy chair by the window where I can see the light change through the day - Sometimes the bathroom: Late at night after the kids are asleep, when the house is quiet and it's just me and my thoughts - Occasionally the bedroom: Though I try to keep my reading separate from my husband's side of the bed, because I like that space to be about us
And yes, sometimes I do more than just read. I'll read a particularly well-written scene and find myself...responding to it. There's something about the way language can evoke sensation, about letting yourself get lost in a story that's about desire and pleasure.
I don't make a habit of it, but I'm not ashamed of it either. It's just...part of how I experience these stories. When I read something that really resonates, when the writing is good and the emotions feel real, I let myself feel it fully.
Why I'm sharing this: I think there are other moms out there who feel like they have to choose between being a good mother and being a whole person. Like they have to put away their desires and their sexuality and their needs to be the "right" kind of mom.
You don't have to choose.
Self-Care for the Soul
Reading: I read literary fiction, historical romance, and yes, erotic literature. I read because I want to understand myself better. I read because sometimes an author writes about desire in a way that feels honest and real.
Writing: I write on this website, and I write in my private journal. Writing helps me process my thoughts, my feelings, my experiences. It's a way of being honest with myself.
Connection: I talk to other moms. I go to homeschool co-ops. I have friends who get it. I have people I can call when I need to talk.
Movement: I walk. I hike. I do yoga. I move my body because it feels good, because it helps me think, because it's a way of being present in my own skin.
The Bottom Line
Self-care isn't selfish. It's necessary.
You can't pour from an empty cup. You can't be a good mom, a good wife, a good business owner if you're running on empty.
Take care of yourself. Not because you're being selfish, but because you're being smart. Because you're being a good mom. Because you're being a whole person.
And if you need help finding resources in Maryville, I've got you. I've listed some places above that I've personally used and recommend. But the best self-care is whatever works for you.
This post is my honest take on self-care for moms. It's not about bubble baths and face masks (though those are nice). It's about remembering that you're a whole person, not just a mom or a business owner or a wife. And it's about being honest about what self-care actually looks like.